Why am I single?

Dear Frank,

I am a thirty five year old single girl who has not had a boyfriend in over seven years and I don't know why? I would consider myself a very good looking girl in a highly paid job with good career prospects and a lot better looking than a lot of my friends but no matter how hard I try I cannot find a man who wants to settle down with me.

Anytime I meet a guy and we go on a date I find myself opening my heart to him and telling him that I want to settle down and start a family and suggest that on the second date that he comes over to my home and maybe bring over some of his clothes and stays a few days to see if he likes living with me. When he doesn't call me the next day I try and call him on his phone which he does not answer for some strange reason.

There was one guy I dated last week who arranged to meet me the following night for a drink. After spending an hour in the bar waiting for him and he didn't show I went around to his house to see if he was there and his mother answered the door and said he wasn't in but I knew he was there as his car was in the driveway. If he wasn't interested in me why didn't he say so or are all men like this and are there no decent guys who want the same in life as me?

Clodagh

There are certain unsolvable mysteries in life - The Marie Celeste, the curse of Tutankhamen, socks going missing in the wash and why Rick O Shea hasn't got the morning slot on 2FM. Now we can add Clodagh's letter to Frank above. Frank is "Dublin's Agony Uncle" for freesheet The Dublin Informer, a newspaper delivered to our house recently. I particularly liked this letter as she sounds like such a catch.

Frank's reply to her?

Dear Clodagh,

Sounds to me like you are a bit of a "bunny boiler" and what guy in his right mind would consider spending anytime with a girl who starts talking about settling down on their first date let alone turning up at his home because he failed to show up for a second date.

In answer to the other questions in your letter, yes I am married and no I don't want to meet you for a drink and no you can't have my home address so you can send me a thank you card.

I'm sure if you start off by actually listening to what a guy has to say when you first date him and find out if you have anything in common to meet for a second date, it would be a start. Guys are human too and like to be talked to instead of being talked at. Remember that beauty is only skin deep. Remember if you get into a serious relationship with a guy that he will spend more time talking to you than looking at you so learn to communicate and don't depend on your looks to get a guy.

I don't know. Seems a little harsh. I mean, Clodagh sounds lovely, doesn't she? It's a tough world out there for single people, especially in a big city like Dublin, and seriously, how else could you expect to meet someone? The bar scene is too loud and expensive, there are far too many weirdos online - you never know what sort of eejit you'd end up with - and we can't all depend on a batman mask to help us pull, can we now?

You'll find more of Frank's excellent advice here, here and in the latest issue (pdf). It's a pity the Informer website isn't a bit easier to navigate. That's advice worth paying for, that is!

What's your take on it? Clodagh, you know, if you're out there, get in touch... Not for me you understand, but, er, my friend...

Tattoo

I saw her across the crowded pub floor. To be honest I saw the tattoo first. It was striking, as was she. I had to say something.

Emboldened by Guinness, pint in hand I made stepped gingerly through the crowd and stood beside her, waiting until she finished talking to her friends before I started to speak. So I stood and waited.

"Hello" I said, eventually. "That's a great tattoo."

"Erm, thanks." she said, no doubt wondering who I was and what I wanted.

"I spotted it across the room and couldn't take my eyes off it." I said, master of that type of uncomfortable conversation. "Have you had it long?"

"A while." She said, no doubt hoping that was it, looking at her friends in hope of rescue.

"Well" I said, "It's brilliant. Can I take a photo? Would you mind?"

"Erm, I suppose so" she said, seeing as I already had the camera ready to go. She stood and I snapped.



"Thanks" I said, putting the camera away. "I'm impressed to see it as a tattoo. I love the design."

"Oh really?" she said, sounding as if she'd heard this particular line a hundred times before, "So you know it? I had it done from The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. You like the poem?"

A challenge? Bailemos!

"Ah" says I, "Really? There was me thinking it was inspired by Don Quixote by de Cervantes Saavedra. That's where I know it from."

"Oh?" she said.

"Yes" I said. "Funny. I carry the same one around on my keyring."



Not a bad end to the conversation at all, at all. Pity it's also the end to this post - I honestly don't know how to finish it. Any ideas?