Thursday, May 28, 2009

Where the bad jokes come from...

Bill had been getting progressively more bald at a very young age, and it was depressing him quite a bit.

Eventually, he decided to get a wig, and the following evening he came into the pub looking 10 years younger, with a full head of jet black hair. The locals admired his new look, and complimented him on how realistic it looked.

Eventually, Joe asked him for a closer look, and, though slightly embarrassed, he slipped the wig off and handed it over.

However, as soon as Joe took the wig, he began to complain about everything: the weather, his job, the quality of the pint, anything and everything you could think of.

Puzzled by this irresistable urge to moan, he handed the wig to Tom to give back to Bill, and suddenly his normal good humour re-asserted itself.

Tom, however, even in the few seconds he had the wig in his hands, had already announced to the pub that his wife was useless: couldn't cook, and was ferociously dirty around the house, but not, unfortunately, when she got to bed. Again, as soon as he had handed the wig back to Bill, the torrent of complaints dried up, and he was his old cheerful self again.

The three friends, completely confused and puzzled, were starting to discuss what on earth had happened, when the barman leant across the counter towards them, and told them not to worry about it.

"Why?" they asked.

"Ah, 'tis perfectly natural, lads!" he said. "Sure doesn't everybody complain when they have Bill's toupee?"
Have a look at the Pun appreciation thread. There's loads there. The whole humour forum is a gold mine!
  • Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
  • A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
  • My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
  • Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
  • Practice safe eating: always use condiments.
  • I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
  • I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
  • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  • Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
  • Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome.
  • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  • Banning the bra was a big flop.
  • Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
  • Without geometry, life is pointless.
  • When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  • Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
  • When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

1 comment:

  1. Jaysus, I had to read the last time (bills toupee) 3 times before I got it. *blonde*